I wish you were still here
by WRCfan
Summary: Set just after the end of series 8, episode 30. What happens when Tom dies and leaves behind the one he loves? With nobody knowing about her and Tom. How will she cope? WARNING: talks about death. Please Review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

Hours after he had died. Nikki found herself sat on the floor in the hallway of her home, metres from the door she walked into when she first got home. It was how far she got before she broke down, she only saw a picture of her and Tom from the weekend before. They had gone for a walk across the countryside of Greenock. They had a lot of fun that weekend, Tom had taken Nikki out of dinner. The couple haven't told anyone of the relationship, they wanted to wait for a bit and enjoy their time together. Tom wanted to tell everyone, but didn't because he wanted to give Nikki, that space. He knew things about her that no one else did. She wasn't one to tell others about her problems. She loved Tom, letting him in was how she showed him.

But, now Tom was died and she was alone. No one knew about her and Tom, no one was there to comfort her.

After a while, Nikki realised that it was getting late. So she moved from where she had been sitting on the floor, climbed the stairs and went into her bedroom, she slowly put her pajamas on. Adding Tom's hoody that she found on the chair in her bedroom. Nikki climbing into her bed and cried herself to sleep, a part of her hoping that this was all just a bad dream. That she would wake up to Tom lying next to her.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author Note:_ _Sorry that i haven't updated in a while, here is the next chapter to this story. To Those who have asked this isn't going to be a one-shot. Just to mention, as i forget to put it in the first chapter, but i do have problems with my spelling and grammar, which i am trying to improve this. So if there are any mistakes, i do apologize for these. It is something that i cannot help. Thanks for reading, i hope that you enjoy reading and please review._ Chapter Two:

It was still dark when Nikki woke up. For a split second, she didn't remember everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. But then, it all came flooding back. Tom wasn't here, wasn't by her side. He was dead, wasn't coming back. It was then that Nikki realised what had woken her from her sleeping state. Her alarm clock was painfully loud. As she climbed away from the warm comfort of her duvet, she headed towards her bathroom, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Nikki stepped into the shower, the shower was always her place that she always let her emotions wash over her, take over her.

All of a sudden a nauseous feeling wash over Nikki, with the urge to vomit. Quickly escaping the confinement of the shower, she empty the little contents of her stomach. Heading back into her bedroom, to begin getting ready for work. The layer of foundation, the light lipstick, smart jacket, her comfort jeans. All to help her to hide her true feelings, keep them locked away from everyone else. Everyone saw her as the ex-army strict, and no emotions kind of girl. And that was the way she wanted to keep it. Hide the emotional, loving and caring side of her, that in many years, Tom was the only person to see.

Skipping any breakfast, Nikki went straight through her front door, locking it carefully after collecting the belongings of hers that she needed. Jumping into her car, she make her way to the one place that she really didn't want to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

Three Hours, Three Long Hours, Nikki had been a work for. All the time reminds of Tom everywhere. It was like no one would give her a break. It was currently break time, Nikki was at in the staff room nursing a cup of steaming hot coffee. There were no happy smiling faces in the room today, some of them tried. The topic of conversation got onto Tom. After Hearing Tom's name over and over again. Nikki rose from her seat, place her cup down on the counter before leaving the staff room.

 **3 Hour Later:**

Simon entered the staff room, his eyes scanning the members of staff sitting having a break from teaching. A frown appeared on his face, when it couldn't find the one member of staff he was looking for.

"Has anyone seen Nikki" Simon asked.

Will the reply of no's from the staff members sitting in front of him.

"Simon, my office" Christine stated.

Entering the office and closing the door.

"Simon what's going on?" Christine asked.

"Nikki's disappeared, I've been covering her classes, I can't find her, she's not asking her phone" Simon replied.

"Is her car still here?" Christine asked.

"Nik, walked in this morning" Simon answered.

 **Author Note: Sorry, i haven't** **updated in a while. I'm trying to find the time. This is a short update, im hoping that the next one will be longer. Where is Nikki? Thanks for reading and please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:** "OK, alright. Was her stuff in her classroom?" Christine asked. "Everything is unlocked but her bag and jacket is gone." Simon replied.

"Look I'll go had a look for her, can you look after this place?" Christine stated.  
"Course, Christine it's not like Nikki." Simon stated.  
"I know and I'll find her, then I'll find out what's going on." I replied.

Christine's POV:

I grabbed my stuff and headed out of the office. My first stop was Nikki's classroom. I have to find her, walked out, not telling anyone that isn't Nikki. Something is going on and I'm going to find out what.

It didn't take long for me to reach Nikki's classroom. When I got inside it wasn't like you could tell just by walking in. Everything was in order, with Nikki nothing was ever out of place. As I was heading towards the front of the classroom, placing my bag on one of the table. I was bringing to think that this was a dead end. As I sat down in her chair, I noticed the drawer of her desk, the one that's always locked. Not even me has seen into the content of the drawer. Nikki's always so private. She would never think of no locking at least her drawer before leaving the room.

The opportunity was too great, I slower pushed the drawer open. That's when the element of surprise hit me and I found things I never expected. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

 **Still in Christine's POV:**  
As the contents of the drawer, came into my view. My first thought was that there was definitely a lot of things that I still didn't know about Nikki. The second was panic. It kind of explained, her disappearance.

The contents of the drawer was as follows pictures her and tom, post it notes with messages from Tom. A packet of tablets which seemed to be for anxiety, but then without talking to Nikki I couldn't tell you. I knew that I had to find her. Get her to talk to me, not sure how, as Nikki never seemed like the talk about feelings kind of girl.

I closed the drawer, collected my things. I headed out of the room, I made my way out of the school. Jumped into my car, and pulled out of the school gates. I was on my way heading straight for the only place I was hoping for Nikki to be. Turning corners, bending lanes, all the time wondering how I missed it. How Nikki kept these things to herself.

As I pulled in front of Nikki's house. Grabbing my belongings and locking the car as quick as I could. Walking up to Nikki's door, knocking loudly on the door once, twice, three times. It wasn't until then I tried the door. Unlocked.

Opening the door, relief was over me, when then she was sat on the bottom of the stairs, staring into space. Tearing falling from her eyes.

 **Author's Note:** Please review, and thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:** I sat down next to Nikki on the stairs. "Oh Nikki, what's going on?" Christine asked. "Nothing" was the only replied Nikki could give. "You're not Nik, I can clearly see that." Christine replied. "I'm sorry, I ran off OK, I just wanted to be on my own for a bit." Nikki stated. "Yep, leaving without telling anyone. Left us a teacher down without even knowing." Christine asked Nikki. "I get it, you should get back to school." Nikki told Christine. "We should get back to school. Come on, I'll give you a lift back. "Christine stated. "OK, I need to collect my stuff anyway." Nikki stated. With that they exited the house together. Both getting into the car, and making their way down the long and winding road. 20 mins later: Nikki and Christine arrived at waterloo road a little while later. Nikki jumped out the car quicker than Christine expected. "Nikki wait" Christine shouted. Nikki did wait, Christine quickly caught up with Nikki. "Look thanks for the lift, I get it. My behaviour today has been unexpectable OK. I get it I'm suspended. I'm getting my stuff and leaving. Now, can you let me get my stuff and go in peace please?" Nikki stated, before quickly running off. Leaving Christine standing in middle of the playground, wondering what the hell is going on. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: _I have reposted this chapter due to probelm with viewing the chapter. Thanks for reading and please Review._**

 **Chapter Seven:**

As Christine walked back into her office. Simon was waiting there for her.

"Did you find Nikki?" Simon asked.

"Yep, she was at home." Christine replied.

"Why she go home?" Simon questioned Christine.

"Personal reasons, til I speak to Nikki probably I can't say more then that." Christine stated

"But then I can't get anywhere with Nikki, she's just shouted at me, in the middle of the playground, telling me to leave her alone to pack her stuff and go. I think she thinks I'm suspended her. " Christine continued.

"Wait, she's going. You haven't suspend her, have you?" Simon asked.

"No, I haven't, but I think that Nikki thinks I have. I think that something more is going on then we think. But, the problem is Nikki doesn't talk about her, her feelings or anything that goes in with her. Well, not to us anyway." Christine stated to simon.

"Christine, I really think you should go talk to her. I get what your saying, but one of us has to get her to talk and to sort this out and I think it she'd more likely talk to you than me." Simon told Christine.

"Your right" Christine replied.

"I'll go talk to her soon, I'll let her call off a bit first" Christine added.

20 minutes later:

Christine had wandered out of her office on a mission to find Nikki. The first place she looked was Nikki's classroom, entering the classroom finding nobody in there. She noticed that this time Nikki's belongings had been cleared from the desk. As Christine moves closer to the front of the classroom, she could clearly see that everything that belonged to Nikki had been cleared out of the room. This discovery made Christine more worried about Nikki, her behaviour had been so unexpected and made Christine realised that Nikki really did think that she had suspended her. Fishing her phone out of her pocket Christine searched though her contacts and selected her details and pressed call. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: _I've reposted this chapter, due to the problem with the chapter, that i have realised. Thanks for reading and please review._** ****

 **Chapter Eight:**

 **Nikki's POV:**

After collecting my things from my classroom. I called for a taxi and made my way back home. Dumping my stuff inside the door when I got home. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and heading back out of the door. Grabbing my keys on the way put of the door. I then locked my front door and headed straight to my local supermarket. There was something I had to buy, if only to put my mind at rest.

It didn't take long before I was pulling into a parking space in tescos. I was going through the aisles when I noticed my phone was ringing in my pocket. Without thinking I pulling my mobile out of my pocket and answered it without checking the called Id.

"Hello" I answered.

"Nikki, its Christine" she replied.

"Hi" I said, not sure what to say.

"Have you gone home?" Christine asked me.

"I did, but I've popped out for a bit" I responded.

"Nikki, what's going on ? You know I haven't suspended you, I just want to know what's going on Nikki. Your not you at the moment. I know they is something going on. I sort of found some things in your drawer earlier. I just want to talk to you, as a friend, I want to help Nikki." Christine told me.

"Can you come around to mine later?" Nikki asked. Knowing that right now, she could do with a friend.

"Of course, I can. Tell me when and I'll come over." Christine answered.

"What about five, I'll cook and then maybe we can talk." I said with more nerves in my voice then i would of liked.

"Yeah OK, I'll come then, listen nik, I'm got to go. But, I'll see you later yeah" Christine questioned.

"Yep see you later" I replied.

Quicking putting my phone back in my pocket. I continued doing my shopping, trying to be as quick as I can.  



	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

Still in Nikki's POV:

It didn't take long for me to get home, I opened my door and headed straight for the kitchen, placing my shopping bags on the kitchen table. My eyes moved to look at the clock sitting on the wall. The clock read 3 o clock. I had two hours till Christine arrived. If I sat down and stopped, my mind would start thinking and I didn't want to think. So, I began packaging away the shopping. But then that didn't take me that long. The house was so quiet, I hate of when it was this quiet.

I decided to put the radio on, give some noise to my quiet and empty house. I started cleaning up a bit, I haven't been doing any since Tom had died. I know that it only been a couple of days, but those few days, seem like a lifetime for me.

I was still tidying up, and getting ready when, I heard a knock on the door. I headed through the house. I opened the door to see who was behind the door, I was surprised to find Christine on the other side.

"Hey, sorry I'm early, I just wanted to make sure you're alright" Christine said.

"Hi, it's time, come in." I replied, opening the door wider to let her in.

Christine followed me through to the kitchen. "Do you want a cuppa?" I asked her.

"Yes please" she replied.

While I made Christine a tea and me a coffee, there was an uncomfortable silence between us. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

 **Christine's POV:**

While Nikki was making the tea, she didn't say a word, I knew that she was avoiding the question about if was OK. I needed to get through to her, get her to talk to me, it was going to be harder then I thought. I was brought out of my thoughts when Nikki placed the mug of steaming liquid down in front of me and leant back against the counter with her mug in her hands like it was comforting her.

"Can we talk, Nik?" I asked her.

Nik only nodded in replied, being careful not to look at me. So, I decided to bit the bullet and get straight in there.

"I didn't know you and Tom were together" I told her.

The second I said his name, was the moment that Nik turned and looked me in the eye for the first time. It was like emotion overloaded her as tears fell from her eyes and she let out slobs of pain and heartache.

I moved quickly in front of her, took her mug from her hands and placed in back on the counter, as I pulled her in for a hug and held her tight, as her legs gave away below her. We ended up, sitting on her kitchen floor, with me holding her tight in my arms while the emotion had taken over her.

 **Author's Note:** ** _Can Christine get Nikki to tell her what going on? Will Nikki open up? What will happen if she does?_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author Note:** _Hi, Sorry i haven't updated in a while. Been Busy and Trying to work out where to go with my fanfiction's. Hope you like the chapter and please review._

Chapter Eleven:

Ten long minutes had gone pass before Nikki had stopped crying and started to calm down. She was still sat on her kitchen floor, with Christine holding on to her, trying to comfort her.

Suddenly, Nikki came out with one unexpected word "Pizza?".

"What?" Christine replied, surprised and slightly confused.

"I don't feel like cooking anything anymore, how about I order a pizza?" Nikki explained.

"I can order the Pizza, why don't you go and freshen up a bit." Christine asked Nikki.

"Ok, just m,ake sure that the Pizza is Hawaiian" Nikki answered.

Christine laughed as Nikki headed out of the kitchen and started to walk up the stairs.

"and the sofa is probably more comfortable, than the kitchen floor." Nikki shouted.

Laughing again, Christine dialled the pizza number while heading out of the kitchen and sitting on the sofa in Nikki's Lounge. After ordering a large Hawaiian pizza. Christine noticed the pictures dotted around the living room, they were mostly of Nikki and Tom, some were Nikki's army days. There was one photograph sat on the mantle that was an old photograph, you could see from the photograph that it was old. What puzzled Christine was that the photograph was of two young girls, one looked very much like Nikki or a younger Nikki. Christine moved closer to the photograph.

Christine was so much looking at the photograph, that she didn't even noticed Nikki come back down the stairs, she had gone into the kitchen made her and Christine another cup of tea. Now, she was standing in the doorway of the lounge, watching the confusion on Christine's face as she looks at the photograph that is sat in pride of place on mantle.

"Natalie" Nikki stated gesturing to the photo, Christine was so interested in.

"Who is She?" Christine Asked

Placing the mugs on the coffee table and sitting back on the sofa, Nikki replied "My Sister".

"Natalie is my younger sister, she us two years younger in fact. That photograph was taken when I was 14 and she was 12. I don't talk about Natalie or my family because I don't see any of them anymore.

"How come? Sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Christine questioned Nikki.

"It's OK, I'll only ever told Tom about my life, my childhood. When I was younger, my dad, he, uh. He abused me. He told me that it was all my fault, everything that happens was my fault. I had no self-confidence, or self-belief as a child because of him. When I was 15, I got away. It was Only me that he did it too, he never got near Natalie I didn't let him. It did try and tell my mum about what was happening the day before I left. She, uh, called me a liar. Told me that if my lies continue then, I wasn't going to be welcome as part of their family. The next morning, before anyone was up, I packed my things in a rucksack, packed as put as I could. Got dressed, went into Natalie room, kissed her goodbye, she was asleep, told her I loved her and I left before anyone knew I was leaving. "Nikki told Christine. Thought-out her explanation, Nikki had tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh Nikki come here" Christine Gestured to Nikki.

Nikki moved towards Christine, again finding herself in Christine letting Christine comfort her. That night was a night that Nikki split everything, everything that happen to her as a child. The abuse was her dad, how her mum wouldn't deal with the abuse. That all Nikki wanted was for her sister to be safe. How when she left that house, she went to the police station and reported her dad. Then turning 16 weeks later and joining the army, the day after her 16th birthday. Her army days, the lost and pain that came with it. To joining waterloo road, back in Rochdale. Coming up to Greenock to work to the new waterloo road. To her and Tom's Relationship, finally dealing with Tom's Death.

And Lastly, the fact that we could be pregnant.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve:

Christine's POV:

To say that it's surprised me was probably an understatement.

"Could be" Christine asked.

"yeah, could be. I'm been quite sick in the mornings but then im fine, plus im late, and im not normally late." Nikki replied.

"I take it you haven't taken a test" Christine questioned Nikki.

"I couldn't get enough courage, I brought one, just didn't do it. What am I going to do Christine if I am pregnant, tom's gone. I will never get the chance to see his face when he would have found out. He would never get the chance to meet his child." Nikki told Christine with tears in her eyes.

"I know Nikki, but you need to know if you are first, before you think or worry about any of that. Why don't you go upstairs and do the test now while I'm still here to support you with whatever the outcome of the test is." Christine then explained to Nikki.

End of POV.

With a simple nod. Nikki headed upstairs to the bathroom, Christine could hear Nikki close the bathroom door. While sat in the living room waiting for Nikki to come down the stairs and tell her the outcome. She decided to make the short walk to the kitchen and make her and Nikki a cup of tea. Christine thought the Nikki will probably need on depending on the outcome. With the noise of the click of the kettle. Christine hear Nikki start to walk down the stairs. Nikki appeared at the doorway of the kitchen with tears in her eyes.

"Im Pregnant" Nikki stated.


End file.
